Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize