you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
