Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We talked him into tasing himself.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Randomize
