I heard we made out
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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