I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
