She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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