I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
