but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
