lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
