did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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