dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
4 words: hood of his car
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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