Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
