hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
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