At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
