Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
