i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I need to calm my uterus...
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
