Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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