Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
