Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
