I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
It's Friday. Sex?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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