the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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