clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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