this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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