Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
