I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
