Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize