the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
now i know why i became what i already was.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
