youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
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