can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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