She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
