Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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