i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
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