Three words: puerto rican gang bang
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
