I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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