She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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