So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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