My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
My pussy is not your playground.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
