I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
