the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
