He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
