So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
