Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
