I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
