i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
