but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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