Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
