haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Is it because I queefed?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
