how can u be prego again
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
