Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
