We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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