piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Your cock deserves a montage
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
