Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
