how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
My vagina just clenched in fear
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
