We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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