VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
So vagazzling was a success
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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