YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
