You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
