They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
