I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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