I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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