Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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