Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
